Happy Summer friends!
This summer my schedule is full of weddings, weddings and you guessed it more weddings. Which if you asked me 4-5 years ago if I wanted to be a wedding photographer I would have said no thank you! So this has been a real change of events in my life.
The truth of the matter is I really never saw myself being a wedding photographer. I never saw the beauty, excitement, the emotion of what it means being a hired as a wedding photographer. Before all I saw was the pressure, the work and the stress of the day. Of course all of that has changed now, obviously. Photography to me in general has changed completely since I’ve started.
THE PAST
Past photography: I looked back at some OLD photos of mine and I was like “Why did I think this looked good?”. Then I think back of why I was interested in taking photos in the first place. At first I just wanted to capture the world the way I saw it to show others. Then is slowly turned into another thing, I liked the attention. Even if I wasn’t in the photo. I loved going out with friends, taking photos, posting and looking at every like and comment of there’s just for the pride. The way I viewed photography was pruly egotistical. I did it for attention, I did it for pride, I did it to feel better about not being amazing at school. Over time the ego side faded. I still had a tad bit of ego in me throughout high school but it got way better when I left for college. But then a new side appeared of jealousy. This my friends is a very easy slop to go into, especially today with a myriad of social media platforms. I started seeing other people attempt photography and my instant thought was “I could do way better than that.” Or I would see people who did amazing job at photography and I thought “Why can’t I be like that?” It was a fine line between jealousy and ego for me really. I would see photographers around the world traveling, taking amazing shots and I was in the middle of Illinois, in corn fields. I would find myself getting caught up with others and what they were doing and wishing I could do that instead. I wasn’t really investing in my work as a photographer, I was but not really. The things I saw others do I would try. It could be a pose or an editing style I liked, but it sometimes didn’t come out the way I wanted it to. Because copying others never really works. This is when I started to take a step back and really rethink what photography meant to me.
THE PRESENT
Present photography: All in all I have come a long way from not just a maturey stand point, but also the level of photography I’ve built up to. I’ve learned that the more I focus on just my work the happier I am. I’ve learned that it’s a lot more fun to work with other photographers than to stay in a corner and pout. I’ve learned that photography can be a beautiful way to capture moments, emotions, time and personalities. I’ve learned that being a photographer you need to create your own identity with it and not try to copy others. I’ve learned a lot of things over the last few years. This year is the first year I feel confident as myself in photography. Part of that is because I know what I’m doing and why. I have a vision for each client and I’m able to be creative in my own way with them. Another part is because I’ve learned to let go of my sins and focus less on me and more on what I love to do. Which is to take pictures to show the world what beauty I see.
~Rachel